Claret and Banter 5aside team

[Spoonhead]

Right, it's been talked about for months but now it really is going to happen! I've been charged with putting the wheels in motion. So I need to know: who is definately interested? Who can make a commitment to turn up most weeks? It's going to be a midweek night probably between 7-9 pm. Whoever wants to play list your names here and pm me your contact details. Come on people lets live the dream!

[Serium]

Im a keeper...... A QUALITY ONE TOO

[king billy]

Not as good as me though Adrienne.....the flying pig is legend!!

I'm up for being keeper Jonny - seriously!! I don't want a set of fookin muppets playing in front of me though.....tup:
Stopped the Torquay lot scoring a cricket score for the Shippers and was man of the match a while back - and saved the 2 penaltys that allowed the Shippers to beat a City fans 11 team a few weeks ago - Ryan will vouch for me.....tup:

Your choice though - Jonny - the Zabica like Yeadon or the Matt Clarke like King Billy....tup: :D ;)

[Spoonhead]

Chuffed we've got a willing keeper of course but we need several players! I want some decent c+b footballers please. Come on! The Thornbury pitch is a mere spunkslash from chucklebantam so we'll take him as a definate. We need some more players! There is a bar so we can have a beer after!

[jimmy]

Looks like we have 3 keepers then.My credentials West Riding County Championship silver plate least goals ever conceded ever in the history of the league.Man of the tournement in a county knockout.Saved 4 out of 5 penaltys in the Semi final of County Cup and went on to win it.Sundays went through every division to the top with the same team on two occaisions with two different teams.Im up for it having retired two seasons ago after suffering 3 broken ribs pulling off a camera save.roflmao:
Get my name down Jonny.

[ChuckleBantam]

Chuffed we've got a willing keeper of course but we need several players! I want some decent c+b footballers please. Come on! The Thornbury pitch is a mere spunkslash from chucklebantam so we'll take him as a definate. We need some more players! There is a bar so we can have a beer after!

Two drawbacks Jonny;

I'm not very good and can't commit myself to regular set time activities due to shift work.

Stick us as down as "give Chuckle a ring cos we're desperate and a man down and he only lives round the corner" If you want.

[Parrot]

Im game Johnyboytup: ....I like to play as the last man at the back, a sort of "Libero" if you like;)

[king billy]

Put us down as a defender then Jonny if Jimmy really as good as he reckons.....tup:
Although how the feck he's gonna dive around at his age is beyond me - best hope there's plenty of medically qualified folk around.....:eek: :D

When's it due to start BTW?

[Serium]

Not as good as me though Adrienne.....the flying pig is legend!!

I'm up for being keeper Jonny - seriously!! I don't want a set of fookin muppets playing in front of me though.....tup:
Stopped the Torquay lot scoring a cricket score for the Shippers and was man of the match a while back - and saved the 2 penaltys that allowed the Shippers to beat a City fans 11 team a few weeks ago - Ryan will vouch for me.....tup:

Your choice though - Jonny - the Zabica like Yeadon or the Matt Clarke like King Billy....tup: :D ;)

I'll back out then, i can't play anywhere else 5 a side

Current record:

2X Top league titles at Ferrinni Yeadon- UNBEATEN ONE OF THOSE
1X Aireborugh League Title

[Spoonhead]

When's it due to start BTW?

I'm playing at Thornbury tomorrow night so I'll ask when the next league starts. If it's ages away I'll ring around some other places.
Sounds like we've got a team full of keepers! Is nobody willing to do any actual running?!

[Superfatbantam]

Ok, dude. I'm in. Right-back (do you get them in 5-a-side?). So I guess more defensive minded than attacking, although I have been known to get a nose-bleed every so often and go on the overlap!

I mould myself on this guy;) :

http://www.football.co.uk/shared/images/players/england_world_cup/gary_neville.jpg

[Jantje simoen]

Who? Syd Barrett?!!!!

[Superfatbantam]

Who? Syd Barrett?!!!!

Absolutely, dude, he was a wizard on the wing!tup:

[Spoonhead]

I had a word tonight. There is a league running at Thornbury on Thursdays and they currentley have 2 spaces for teams in a league that's already started. We could join this league halfway through just to see how we go and then start properly at the beginning of the next league. (Should be about 4 weeks away)
Or, we could wait until the new league starts and join in then. ( So as not to have given the opposition a look at our obvious talent!)
It costs £26/week/team. 1 match per week between 630-830, your time changes weekly. Matches are 14 minutes/half 2 minutes half time. The length of the league I suppose depends on how many teams join.
I'd favour joining this league to get ourselves sorted and then have a good go at the next proper league we're in from the start. This Thursday might be a bit soon as some people who may want to play might not have seen the thread yet! So how about a week on Thursday? I'm thinking we'll need 5 players plus 2 subs. I suppose we could just go with 5 but it does get hard work especially in this heat!
All those in favour say aye.

[Parrot]

Is it full of P*ki teams who all think they're Jackie Chan?tdwn:

Did you try Soccer City up at Thornton?....plus its only a stride away from my housetup:

[Spoonhead]

Is it full of P*ki teams who all think they're Jackie Chan?tdwn:

Did you try Soccer City up at Thornton?....plus its only a stride away from my housetup:

I've seen loads of teams up there and there's all sorts! Some right fat bassa's so us lot should fit in just fine!:D
Not many Asian teams no Parrot so you'll be safe!tup:
I'll ring the soccer city place tomorrow. Thornton is actually closer for me too! What's the pitch like? Outdoor, indoor? Where in Thornton is it?

[Parrot]

I've seen loads of teams up there and there's all sorts! Some right fat bassa's so us lot should fit in just fine!:D
Not many Asian teams no Parrot so you'll be safe!tup:
I'll ring the soccer city place tomorrow. Thornton is actually closer for me too! What's the pitch like? Outdoor, indoor? Where in Thornton is it?

Its behind Thornton Grammer School & the pitches are that fake grass stuff & are all outdoorstup:

[Spoonhead]

Its behind Thornton Grammer School & the pitches are that fake grass stuff & are all outdoorstup:


So if you live near there you must be in the posh bit eh?:rolleyes: I'll enquire tomorrow. From a completely selfish point of view, Thornton is closer to my house so it is now winning. Does anyone have any objections?
Is there a bar there Parrot? I don't think i could run around for an hour without the promise of beer to keep me going. I suppose The School Green is not too far away but I'd rather have a beer onsite!

[Parrot]

Yes, last time I was there they had a bar with TV inside & City pictures on the wallstup: ...theres also a "white shite" one also for the reprobates but we wont go into that!:mad:

[Spoonhead]

Yes, last time I was there they had a bar with TV inside & City pictures on the wallstup: ...theres also a "white shite" one also for the reprobates but we wont go into that!:mad:

Sounds good!tup:

A few weeks back I went out with a mate around Thornton one Friday night when L**ds had a playoff match on sky. The pub was full of the scummer twats.:mad: WTF is wrong with Thornton? It couldn't be much further from L**ds with a Bradford postcode! We also went into the Great Northern for one....er...less said best said eh? I'd put the average age of the clientele at about 15 and that's being generous! Shithole!

[Parrot]

I've lived in Thornton for the last 9 years & can count on one hand the amount of times i've had a pub crawl round the village....It's shitetdwn:
I originated from Wibsey & dont really know anyone up here, in fact i know more people from Clayton as i played football for the Albion for 10 years;)
As for the scummers, can't say i've noticed many L**ds fans in the village, like anything else, they probably crawled out then back under their stones when Watford pummelled emtup: :D

[youngbill]

Looks like we have 3 keepers then.My credentials West Riding County Championship silver plate least goals ever conceded ever in the history of the league.Man of the tournement in a county knockout.Saved 4 out of 5 penaltys in the Semi final of County Cup and went on to win it.Sundays went through every division to the top with the same team on two occaisions with two different teams.Im up for it having retired two seasons ago after suffering 3 broken ribs pulling off a camera save.roflmao:
Get my name down Jonny.

Hi Jimmy- I don't know about you, but the older I get,the better I used to be !! Cheers and enjoy your games.

[TheDuck]

I'm a defensive midfielder or full back.

[jimmy]

I can bring Macloud who used to post mon here,he is a striker so we have one forward at least.

[jimmy]

By the way one week out of four i wont be available due to work,so KB or Yeadon can step in and if they perform then they can keep their shirt.
Youngbill im sure i saved 5 penaltys for City in a cup final............Or was it a dream in my younger days????????????????

[Garlic Breath]

I'll play if you're short....and yes I can run. I did'nt see much of the ball at Torquay and against Lincoln but I was there on the pitch.
Iam also 44 next month so DONT TAKE THE FUCKING PISS

[Spoonhead]

Sorry chaps, I've been a bit slack lately and i've not done any phoning around yet. I'll do it tomorrow I pwomise! I'm thinking Tuesday or Thursday if possible. (Because it's best for me of course!) But if that's not possible we'll see. Judging by recent posts every other Saturday at 3pm would be a good time for us to play.:mad:
So far we seem to have 8 names or so which is plenty but more are welcome. People always drop out at the last minute!

[BantamLad89]

Im good...

But yer eyes wouldnt be able to keep uo with my dazzling skills....tup:

And im too young:)

[Spoonhead]

I should have updated the thread, sorry. I'm waiting to hear back from Thornton about the next league. I'll phone again tomorow.

[Shelf Bantam]

Not as good as me though Adrienne.....the flying pig is legend!!

I'm up for being keeper Jonny - seriously!! I don't want a set of fookin muppets playing in front of me though.....tup:
Stopped the Torquay lot scoring a cricket score for the Shippers and was man of the match a while back - and saved the 2 penaltys that allowed the Shippers to beat a City fans 11 team a few weeks ago - Ryan will vouch for me.....tup:

Your choice though - Jonny - the Zabica like Yeadon or the Matt Clarke like King Billy....tup: :D ;)

Il vouch for him being a good keeper although he didnt save my down the middle pen during the match :lol:

made a couple of saves taht kept shippers in it then saved our pens in the shootout although one went wide give him the no1 shirt

[Bantamblue]

i can play!?
dont know if your short?
i can play anywhere! just dont have me on penalties because i dont like the pressure!!!!!! ask billy..............:)

[Shelf Bantam]

i can play!?
dont know if your short?
i can play anywhere! just dont have me on penalties because i dont like the pressure!!!!!! ask billy..............:)


Your useless at football we play 5 a side twice a week so if you want a real player call me can play Gk, Holding player, Or upfront

[Joe_Brett]

i'll play :D

[Bantamblue]

Your useless at football we play 5 a side twice a week so if you want a real player call me can play Gk, Holding player, Or upfront

you? your shite upfront!? you saved yourself by putting in a penalty!? which we only got because 'cookie dives' but overall you were shite! you were lazy! you DIDNT hold up the ball!? how can this make you good in net!?
as far as im aware i played fine untill some tw@t nearly broke my ankle!?

[Bantamblue]

also! its funny how you claim to play 5-a-side twice a week yet you spend all day on the OMB and night!? when your not on the OMB you are on a driving lesson OR in the pub with me wilby and adzy!?

[Shelf Bantam]

also! its funny how you claim to play 5-a-side twice a week yet you spend all day on the OMB and night!? when your not on the OMB you are on a driving lesson OR in the pub with me wilby and adzy!?

Thats because the Richard Dunns Monday and Friday League kicks off in mid september ;)

If its claim how come Adzy & Wilby play with me :confused:

anyways am open to offers ;)

[Bantamblue]

so you mean you 'will' be playing in the ronald mcdonald league! twice a week if you can manage all the exercise!:D !

[Shelf Bantam]

so you mean you 'will' be playing in the ronald mcdonald league! twice a week if you can manage all the exercise!:D !

what you mean if !! ive played for four seasons now

if you remember that shippers game had i just not recovered froma broken bone in my foot i admit i wasnt fit but id give a few a run for their money now

[Bantamblue]

what you mean if !! ive played for four seasons now

if you remember that shippers game had i just not recovered froma broken bone in my foot i admit i wasnt fit but id give a few a run for their money now

'run' for their money?! mart the only 'running' you did in the shippers game was the run up to the penalty!?

[Serium]

YES THAT COOKIE GUY DID DIVE!! CHEAT!

We won on pennies anyway!

[Shelf Bantam]

'run' for their money?! mart the only 'running' you did in the shippers game was the run up to the penalty!?


Now whos telling fibs i didnt even run up to the pen :p two step

Bantam Gull isnt that bad at back maybe hes worth a shot

and we all know my mate cookie dived ;)

[Serium]

I play better as defensive midfielder, i broke a few attacks down in that game and the only time cookie got past me with the ball was when he dived and fell over in the box!

[Superfatbantam]

Jonnyd, any updates re what is happening with this, dude?:cool:

[Spoonhead]

I'm still waiting for Thornton to get back to me so they can go bollox! A neighbour told me last night that a new place is opening on Kings Rd in BD2. Apparently they're desperate for teams and are offering incentives like free kits etc. Sounds good to me! I've not had chance to go and have a look yet, I'll try get down there tomorrow. I can only think it could be near that Glynn Webb place. Has anybody heard anything about it? Hope everyone's still keen!

[Garlic Breath]

It might be something to do with Hanson School half way up kings Road Rubberman. They have 5 a side pitches there complete with floodlights.

[Spoonhead]

It might be something to do with Hanson School half way up kings Road Rubberman. They have 5 a side pitches there complete with floodlights.

Thanks Mr J. It's well documented that you live in that area. Any chance you could go and check it out. It will guarentee you a place in the starting 5! I didn't get a chance to get down there today.

[Garlic Breath]

Already done it Rubberman......I'm to lead a 5 a side team there named "Mr J's Five Skins". The only criteria for playing is that one must be shaven headed,tattoo'ed and own a copy of Mein Kampf.

So far there's only cg and Johnny Yen who's signed up.:eek:

[Spoonhead]

I'm shaven headed and tatoo'ed. 2 out of 3 aint bad. Any chance?

[Garlic Breath]

Yeh but you work for BT and they ripped me off 17 years ago...CABLE..CABLE...CABLE...Ha hahahatup:<runs off flicking V's>

[Parrot]

I own Mien Kampf, have a tatto but my hairs not gonna join the "Right said Fred" club for no-one, not even the Mr Js 4 skins teamtdwn: ...I have a huge Swastika draped above my head board though, does that count?:confused:

[European Bob]

I'll play so long as it's not mondays or wednesdays as i play already on those nights

[Serium]

I would play if i could get a lift! I am a keeper no other position will be occupied by me!

We should have trials!

[Spoonhead]

Right sorted it! Just in the nick of time too, we're the last team in! I rang that new place, goals, because I'm cheap and I wanted some free stuff. It's the grading 1st to see what league each team will go into. There are supposed to be 2 graded matches but they started last night so we can only have one. As we're the last team in, we have the last playing spot. 2115-2200 next Thursday which is a bit of a shitter but it won't be that late every week. The graded match is £20/team and for that you get a free football and a £10 bar voucher. The league matches cost £32.50/week for your 40 minute game. When the league starts, we get a free kit! There'll be 8 teams per league and it's a 14 week season. The website explains it:

www.goalsfootball.co.uk (http://www.goalsfootball.co.uk)

All the stats will be online which is pretty good.

And just to add a bit of spice to the occassion, the guy organising the team we play next Thursday is called J Rhodes!

Right, who can play then?

[baldbantam]

Is it always going to be on a Thursday?

[Spoonhead]

This particular league will be Thursdays. League nights are Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Tuesdays are ruled out for City fans obviously but we could do a Wednesday night league next time I suppose.

[Spoonhead]

Is nobody up for it anymore then? I've got to ring them tomorrow or Tuesday to confirm and pay. Come on, who's playing?!

[TheDuck]

Long as I'm not on nights i'll show myself up :D

[mrsjdtobe]

Come on....he's asking, who's playing?!!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

subs??

[king billy]

Thought it was taken as read that i'll be playing Jonny....;)

We'll easy get 5 players, my cousin Rambo, Booshy and another lad i know will deffo play on a Thurs - even if we can't get enough laikers from on here we'll be sound!!...:cool:

[mrsjdtobe]

Bantamblue, Yeadon, Chuckle, Ed, Parrot, Jimmy, Shelf Bantam??? Well.....can you make it? Yay or nay?!!

[mrsjdtobe]

SFB, Mr. Pranzo?? sorry, i knew I'd miss people off my list!! ;)

[jimmy]

yes i can play this thursday if needed.I need to know time and place,so pm me bitch.

[mrsjdtobe]

lol....it's at Hanson but I don't know the time so you will have to wait till the bitch gets back from tonight's 5aside!!! roflmao:

[king billy]

So thats me, Rambo, Booshy and Jimmy for def this Thursday Jonny - have you set it up then mate tup:

[Garlic Breath]

I like the way you bracket me with Super fat Bastard.:mad:
Sorry but I'm retard these days.:p ...I dont want to do a "George Best" and play beyond my best days.

[mrsjdtobe]

Sorry Mr Pranzo, it wasn't intentional.

Look at the teamsheet and then decide whether you should play or not. Don't be shy!! tup:

[mrsjdtobe]

Well it's looking pretty good so far no need for me to get my shinnies on then!! tup:

[Garlic Breath]

"Look at the teamsheet":rolleyes:
A more motley collection of booze swilling pill popin' scrotes would be hard to find I think.
Jimmy's no good....his hooter keeps getting caught offside for a start,and aye Flat Matts not bad I suppose.
But only if you flick him with a little swervetup:
http://www6.thdo.bbc.co.uk/kent/content/images/2005/09/01/subbuteo_flick_203x152.jpg

Like I say I'm retired now thank fuck.;)

[Jantje simoen]

Maybe you could massage some of the aching limbs with your fruit smoothies Mr P.

[mrsjdtobe]

Great idea JS....are you upto playing??

[Spoonhead]

Excellent, looks like we have a team! See you all at 9pm then. I'll be driving over from Clayton so anyone near me or on the way, pm me if you want a lift.

[king billy]

Who do you want turning up then Jonny?......

There could be two possible scenario's with sommat so casual as saying "see you all at 9pm" dude - either every fooker turns up and we end up with 15, or everyone thinks that everyone else is turning up so doesn't bother and we end up with 2 of us....lol :D

I for one will deffo be there - 9pm by the entrance then? Thats goalkeeper sorted.....tup:

Might Booshie will probs read this tomorrow and either throw his hat in or not - if you want Rambo to turn up then i'll need to know ASAP so i can tell him to not stay at his birds that night.....tup:

[Spoonhead]

Good point KB! I think we'd better do a definates list! KB and I have said yes definately! Who else? If you have to pull out that's fine, looks like we have plenty but we do need to know I suppose!
We're not getting the free kit this week either so we should wear something vaguely similar I suppose! I'm thinking England kit, white. Has everyone got one? No L**ds shirts Mr Pranzo.

[mrsjdtobe]

Did I do a good job?! ;)

[panther]

Well Im chearleader this week thats for sure !! any particular dress code ???

[Spoonhead]

Fantastic job! You can be the official team "kick up the arse, morale booster". We'll call you when we're 2-0 down at halftime for a bit of a boost!

[panther]

Fantastic job! You can be the official team "kick up the arse, morale booster". We'll call you when we're 2-0 down at halftime for a bit of a boost!

No problermo !! thats my speciality !!!!

and if your losing I will nobble the other team ok

[mrsjdtobe]

roflmao: what's your speciality Panter?!!

[panther]

roflmao: what's your speciality Panter?!!

of course !!! what you saying !!

[Garlic Breath]

Ask this fella....
http://www.triviatribute.com/images4/dennisweaver2.jpg:D

[Serium]

I like the way i didnt even get a look in over KB despite me putting my name down as keeper before anyone else....

[king billy]

Good point KB! I think we'd better do a definates list! KB and I have said yes definately! Who else? If you have to pull out that's fine, looks like we have plenty but we do need to know I suppose!
We're not getting the free kit this week either so we should wear something vaguely similar I suppose! I'm thinking England kit, white. Has everyone got one? No L**ds shirts Mr Pranzo.


White England kit is a good one - i have a few if others don't!!.....tup:

[Serium]

Still im ignored.....
I have experience at 5 a side.....

[king billy]

Calm down Adrienna - i'm sure your services will be appreciated - just not in goal tup: Why not come down and play outfield - put your name down as a deffo on this thread.....

[Jantje simoen]

Its cos of the ban, get in touch with jonny or Bantambabe & they'll give you details, they still want players

[Serium]

Yes but im crap apart from in goal, and i can't drive! maybe its a no go for me :(

[king billy]

"i have experience of playing football"......lol

Aidie - i played Sunday league for 5 different teams for 8 years mate and played for two different five a side teams in the old Eccleshill sports centre league - i'm 31 your 20 - i dare say i have a bit more experience than you dude....;)
If you read this thread i have a few recommendations off of folk - you have none :p
You live in Yeadon, no-one else lives up there to give you a lift and you can't drive...:p

So who do you thinks the best candidate?.....:p :p :p

[Serium]

Me, maybe we should have a trial? When did you last play?

[mrsjdtobe]

Now, now boys.....time to chillax!!! Aidie I did ask you on here if you wanted to play...you said you needed a lift but if no-one lives near you, what do you expect people to do?!!

btw, my dad's bigger than your dad!!! roflmao:

[Spoonhead]

Adie, your welcome to play if you can get there, I can't help you with that though sorry!

Got the info pack today. I need some personal details from all players who want to register. We can register 20 players, 8 can play per week. I need to know, name, house number, postcode, date of birth and telephone number.
I'm happy to be team organiser but they want a second contact. Any volunteers? The only further info they want from the second contact is daytime/evening phone number and what job you do?? Don't know why!
I need this info before we can play so pm me soon or we'll be rushing on Thursday!

Just a few other details to highlight. It's affiliated to the county FA so if anyone is currently banned they can't play. Sounds like they're pretty tight on discipline and don't mind handing out red and yellow cards which can result in fines, bans or team expulsions etc.

Team name: Are we happy with Claret and Banter FC? Do you want .co.uk on there Ed? It'll cost you!

No studs or moulds on the footwear. Moulded souls and astro boots (what?!) are ok. All players must wear shinpads. No jewellery allowed.

Playing rules, normal 5 aside rules apply really. Below head height rules apply. No stepping into the area or out of it for keepers. A couple of rules that just apply at goals are no slide tackles and no heading the ball even if it's below head height.
They have a passback rule wherby, if the keeper passes to you, you can't pass it directly back to him yourself, it has to go to a teammate or off an opponent first.

That's about it for now! If I think of anything else I'll post it up, or any questions, post here or pm me. Or try:

www.goalsfootball.co.uk (http://www.goalsfootball.co.uk)

[mrsjdtobe]

lol....good job you're not playing Mr Pranzo...it seems a bit technical ;)

Do you have to register all the players now or can more be added later?

[JPH]

I've never seen so many keepers, i'm sure teams all over bradford are crying out for them!
If any one wants to play sunday try Bradford sunday alliance website, there are always asking for them.

[king billy]

PM sent Jonny-lad with mine Rambo's and Booshie's details!!...

As mentioned aswell - once were up and running as long as my company sponsors us i'll sort us out a brand spanking kit (Rangers colours OK tup:)....

[king billy]

How much each BTW.....tup:

[mrsjdtobe]

Fantastic job! You can be the official team "kick up the arse, morale booster". We'll call you when we're 2-0 down at halftime for a bit of a boost!

lol...just read that bit!! How do you know I'm not gonna be on the sidelines cheering you on with Panter??!!!

[Spoonhead]

Do you have to register all the players now or can more be added later?

Good question! Don't know I'll try to find out.

[Spoonhead]

I've never seen so many keepers, i'm sure teams all over bradford are crying out for them!
If any one wants to play sunday try Bradford sunday alliance website, there are always asking for them.


I think this is my mate JP. He wants to play but I said he can only play if we're short and he registers here!

[king billy]

Come on bitches - get your names down!! We can have up to 20 players registered, there's only 5 names down for def so far.....tup:

Its gonna work out at about £4 each per week an'all......

Like Jonny's mate who's registered above, we'll have to start getting other lads to register on here just to help make numbers up which kinda defeats from the object of a claret and banter team!!...

[Serium]

Matt says he will give me a lift and pay for me which means you can count me in :D


(He doesn't know it yet)

[Clayton Bantam]

Come on bitches - get your names down!! We can have up to 20 players registered, there's only 5 names down for def so far.....tup:

Its gonna work out at about £4 each per week an'all......

Like Jonny's mate who's registered above, we'll have to start getting other lads to register on here just to help make numbers up which kinda defeats from the object of a claret and banter team!!...


My footballing days are well gone... Being 51 years of age, dodgy knees, dodgy back and too much of the good life have all contributed to an armchair lifestyle.:D :D

[Jantje simoen]

Sorry mate, the head & the heart are willing to the knees & ankles are well shot plus i'm carrying a lot more lard than when i used to play

[king billy]

Matt says he will give me a lift and pay for me which means you can count me in :D


(He doesn't know it yet)

I'll pick you up from the George and lend you a fiver, but you can feck off if you think your going in goal - you can be an outfield player - and the reserve keeper.....tup: Agreed?....

[Serium]

Its agreed mate, i have PM'D jonny, what times KO?

[king billy]

Its agreed mate, i have PM'D jonny, what times KO?

Were being "graded" on Thurs to i assume see which division we'll end up in - we need to be there at 9pm.
I'll pick you up at the George at 8.30pm.....tup: I might even give you a lift home....

[Serium]

Cheers mate :D

What we wearing? Shite england kits? Can i wear my torquay one?

[B_i_N]

My footballing days are well gone... Being 51 years of age, dodgy knees, dodgy back and too much of the good life have all contributed to an armchair lifestyle.:D :D

Still you could go along and cheer them :D

Good luck to all involvedtup:

[king billy]

Cheers mate :D

What we wearing? Shite england kits? Can i wear my torquay one?

White England tops according to Jonny...

But seeing as tho were all City fans - what about claret and amber till we get a kit sorted Jonny? Between us we must have loads of claret and amber striped tops....tup: tup: tup:

Why don't you do the match reports every week on here on a Friday morning Aide ;) Include the league table and that to keep everyone informed....tup:

[Serium]

Aye could do, i do feck all else! :D

can we play in white and can i wear my torquay shirt?:D

[king billy]

BUMP.....

Anymore for anymore?.....You don't have to play every week, it'd be nice to get a full squad of 20 so we can rotate!!

Its a shame that Jonny and me are having to get mates we know from off this MB to represent this messageboard!!

[Serium]

I'll play most weeks :D

[Parrot]

I'd play lads but smashed my ankle a few months back when i fell of a ladder:eek: ....still giving me jip but when its ok i'll be up for ittup:

My mates already registered me for the Tuesday night league without my knowledge, does that mean i couldn't play for you lads on a Thursday?...you'd have to check the rules or i could play under another geezers name?;)

BTW I was up there watching my mates last night, word of warning, it was VERY, VERY competetive to say the least, be prepared for a battle!:mad:

[king billy]

Aye just give a false name mate tup:

Jonnyd's organising it - PM him and ask mate, i know he's got the rules at home so he'll be able to check for you, if you can't register for more than 1 then they're hardly gonna ask for your passport are they :D Just use beerbantams or sommat......tup: tup:

Get yer name down - i hope it is competitive - bring it on.....tup: tup:

BTW because its grading night tomorrow night it'd probably make more sense to play shite and loose 10-0, hopefully then we'll start in the bottom division - better than us winning, getting put in the top division and getting caned every week!!

[Serium]

We look better drawing and being in the middle matty

[baldbantam]

BTW because its grading night tomorrow night it'd probably make more sense to play shite and loose 10-0, hopefully then we'll start in the bottom division - better than us winning, getting put in the top division and getting caned every week!!

Is this you preparing the ground so that if you get whacked 10-0 you can say it was planned? :D

[ChuckleBantam]

If you need twenty, Stick me down for the when "we're short and chuckle's not working give him a bell and see if he'll play, cos we're that desperate" position. I'd prob come over and watch when I'm not busy anyway.

[Parrot]

Thats what I thoughttup: ....BTW you up for it Baldy?...you could always "Cheerlead" with Panter, benders & all!jump: :D

[TheDuck]

I'm in, I'm a defender who likes to run with the ball .... And i'll even take my harry potter glasses off :)

[baldbantam]

Thats what I thoughttup: ....BTW you up for it Baldy?...you could always "Cheerlead" with Panter, benders & all!jump: :D

A) I redefine the meaning of the term 'crap at football'

B) It's the wife's night out and I babysit

If I get the chance at any point I might come down and watch, but that would be the extent of it.

[Spoonhead]

So far we have myself, KB, Yeadon, Ed, my mate and some of KB's mates. So that's plenty for this week. Any spectators welcome! I think we'd best go with a white kit, England if possible. They'll have bibs I'm sure should there be a colour clash.
Are booshie and gaz amoungst your confirmed mates who are coming KB? Or are they extra?
See you all there!
(And I agree a defeat maybe a blessing in disguise but we'll play to win of course!)

[Parrot]

A) I redefine the meaning of the term 'crap at football'

You haven't seen the rest of the team play yet!:eek: :D

B) It's the wife's night out and I babysit

Put your foot down ffs!, show her who the "Daddy" is!...you a man or a mouse?:D

If I get the chance at any point I might come down and watch, but that would be the extent of it.

Well you could do with a laugh, Im sure it will be "entertaining" roflmao:

You know it makes sensetup:

[Serium]

I better get a bloody long game (until i collapse and die in a pool of my own sweat) and if KB is pap can i take his place?:D

Im a crooks type player BTW ie gets stuck in!

[king billy]

So far we have myself, KB, Yeadon, Ed, my mate and some of KB's mates. So that's plenty for this week. Any spectators welcome! I think we'd best go with a white kit, England if possible. They'll have bibs I'm sure should there be a colour clash.
Are booshie and gaz amoungst your confirmed mates who are coming KB? Or are they extra?
See you all there!
(And I agree a defeat maybe a blessing in disguise but we'll play to win of course!)

Aye there both deffo coming Jonny!!

Chuckle, Ed, Parrot - you need to PM Jonny your;

Full name,
Address and postcode,
Date of Birth,
Contact phone number....

He'll then be able to register you!!....tup:

[Serium]

I always play to win! PILE ON KB IF WE LOSE :D

[TheDuck]

Already given my details :)

Am I gonna have competition to get in defense too?

I gave up on trying to be goalkeeper because every tom dick and harry wants to be one :D I'm actually a qualified coach for Bradford Council in that position :P

I then put my name down as being a defender as that's where I played for 8 years lol ....

Shall I step forward as a striker now? I used to play at the Ball Park before it got turned into a Gym. I played three seasons there as striker and scored 43 goals! 8 of them came against the team who won our division :D But I've put on a few pounds ... oh ok a few stone since then though.

So were can I play?????? nobody normally wants to play in defense....

[Serium]

Im lee crooks come eddie johnson


ed mate- ITS 5 A SIDE we don't do positions!

Im shit outfield at 5 a side, never played before properley!

[beerbantam]

Im lee crooks

Im shit outfield at 5 a side, never played before properley!

Yu will be like Crooks then:rolleyes:

[Serium]

Nice one :D

I can tackle well :D

[European Bob]

i can't believe we're not allowed to wear moulds that's just shit. i'm bringing mine anyway just to test the water.

[king billy]

i can't believe we're not allowed to wear moulds that's just shit. i'm bringing mine anyway just to test the water.

I thought i'd invest in some astro trainers - puma, only £14 at JJB!! tup:

[Serium]

Nice one! Ill be wearing trainers!

Matt you need any GK equipment? I have padded shorts, shirts, gloves.....

[king billy]

Nice one! Ill be wearing trainers!

Matt you need any GK equipment? I have padded shorts, shirts, gloves.....

I've already got padded shorts, top and traccy's mate - and gloves.....i wouldn't be much of a keeper if i hadn't would i.....:rolleyes:

[Serium]

No but offering my services, hope you got cheap gloves, that rubbery shite is not great on the palms!!

[king billy]

There not cheap but they're old so i don't give a shit....will you stop getting giddy now and get on with some work.....:rolleyes:

[Serium]

Im bored, and excited! I better play lol!!

[jimmy]

Where is Hanson School?

[king billy]

You come up kings road mate, Goals is just on your right before kings road forks with swain house road - you can't miss it, its got big green gates, just after the horse and farrier!! tup:

[European Bob]

yeah i got some astro nike's ages ago but i've hardly worn them, i've got footwear for all pitches, astros, moulds, sambas, studs you name i've got it but i much prefer playing in proper boots.

[king billy]

yeah i got some astro nike's ages ago but i've hardly worn them, i've got footwear for all pitches, astros, moulds, sambas, studs you name i've got it but i much prefer playing in proper boots.

http://www.peoples.ru/family/wife/markos/markos_20.jpg

[TheDuck]

Im lee crooks come eddie johnson


ed mate- ITS 5 A SIDE we don't do positions!

Im shit outfield at 5 a side, never played before properley!

That's odd, every team I've played in we've done either 2 defenders 2 strikers or 2 defenders a midfielder and a striker.

[Serium]

Yer but we dont like say defence mid etc just like you stay forward and ill go at back etc :D

[European Bob]

positions although set out at the start of games don't tend to work in 5 a side. so long as everyone keeps with the man they're marking then that should suffice.

[TheDuck]

Don't think i'm fit enough to sprint around the pitch constantly lol - I've no problems staying back to constantly guard the keeper :)

[European Bob]

lol so long as you pick up your man that's fine

[Spoonhead]

Wow, it seems people are excited about this at last! I've just put 50 on us to win! It seems it's going to be hard to pick a team after all! It's rolling subs all game. Any dead ball we can make a sub as long as we tell the ref.
We've never played together before so we'll just treat tonight as a practise and if we win it's a bonus. It will give us a chance to see who the best 5 is. Not bothered if I don't start, I've played twice already this week. I'll come on in the second half when everyone's knackered and make myself look good!:D

[Spoonhead]

Just remembered positions...I was thinking 1 man sticks deep and picks up their furthest man forward and acts as a sweeper but still joins in the attacks when appropriate and the other 3 outfield players do most of the running. Most important thing in 5 aside is marking when you've not got the ball. If your knackered and can't track back, sub yourself. We've plenty of subs.

[Garlic Breath]

Sorry folks but it seems that even a veritable flood of PVM's will fail to tempt me out of retirement.:D

[Superfatbantam]

Can't be there tonight but I'm game for this. Jonnyd, what do you need from me?

Then again after you wipe the floor with the opposition tonight I won't be needed. tup:

Key to 5 aside is pass and move, and you don't have to be superfit, just use the football brain to get the space by moving 2 yards to lose your marker.

I'll need to get some appropriate footwear before I get involved anyways, unless they allow moulds. Keep us updated, Booshiedude.

[Spoonhead]

Can't be there tonight but I'm game for this. Jonnyd, what do you need from me?




Sent you a PM. tup:

[European Bob]

I'll need to get some appropriate footwear before I get involved anyways, unless they allow moulds. Keep us updated, Booshiedude.

no moulds i'm affriad asked the ref, get yoursen a good pair of astroturf trainers for when it starts to rain. at the moment though you should be ok with any old pair of trainers

[JPH]

Waiting for the in depth match report. Not sure if it was 9-2 or 8-2
On a negative side i think we might meet tougher opposition, on a plus side i wasn't really trying!

[Superfatbantam]

Waiting for the in depth match report. Not sure if it was 9-2 or 8-2
On a negative side i think we might meet tougher opposition, on a plus side i wasn't really trying!

Oy, nobody likes a bighead!:D tup:

[Serium]

Waiting for the in depth match report. Not sure if it was 9-2 or 8-2
On a negative side i think we might meet tougher opposition, on a plus side i wasn't really trying!
Me neither, my knee hurt! Maybe my qualities are passing and holding the balljump:

[JPH]

i think after out triumphant start we should start looking for sponsers! If we get paid to play then we can call ourselves semi-pro! If we had this website on our shirts then there would be loads more looking. I don't mind being paid in beer tokens!

[baldbantam]

How much does a kit cost - I might be prepared to do something towards a team kit if it had C&B on it.

[king billy]

For a decent kit it'd be about a hundred nicka for 8 shirts, shorts and socks i reckon Baldy - was gonna buy a kit and sponser em with my company logo - but being sponsored as claret and banter would look better - its up to you, let me know!!....

[baldbantam]

Do you want to sponsor them Matt - don't want to steal your thunder, but if you're not bothered I'll put £100 to have a C&B logo displayed on the kits.

[king billy]

I'll price it up properly with the company that do our screenprinting/embroidery and let you know the cost if you want Baldy, seeing as though were representing this MB i'll let you make the choice, if you don't think its worth doing i'll do it - i've done it before for my old 11 a side team and we didn't benefit from the sponsorship but its only for a bit of fun so i'm not bothered about the advertising potential!!....

[Superfatbantam]

Both do it. Matt, no reason you can't have sponsorship on and the C&B logo and website. Perhaps we could go like Leeds and have sponsors on the front, back, collar, sleeves, and even the arses of the shorts!tup:

[Zonnebloem]

Why not Dean dismantlers and Matt Wottever logos on the shirts?

100 smackeroonies but advertising on the shirts. Flyers available at the matches. Matt and Andrew have something to sell, although I recognise that I don't know what Matt's family company does.

[TheDuck]

Why not do a bit of both with regards to sponsorship?

Matt's company name on the front, Badge can be the C&B one and where names would be have www.claretandbanter.co.uk (http://www.claretandbanter.co.uk) in an arched shape.

[king billy]

Why not Dean dismantlers and Matt Wottever logos on the shirts?

100 smackeroonies but advertising on the shirts. Flyers available at the matches. Matt and Andrew have something to sell, although I recognise that I don't know what Matt's family company does.


www.thermocrete.com (http://www.thermocrete.com)

[Garlic Breath]

Matthew old boy.....I notice from the Thermocrete website that according to the sealent test for permanent liner change @1000c the mean result is -1.8%
What linier scale is used in this test?....is it the Hopkins scale or the Modolic scale.
The reason for asking this is if it has been worked out according to the former the said result is true,but if it has been worked out by the latter then the result is flawed. By my calculation if your company has used this method then the liner change (per 100% icidity) would be 1.75% and not 1.8%.

But of course if these figures were worked out before the 1987 change in building regulations they only have to be within 0.85% changeabilty x linierability. Perhaps I'm being a little too technical here and you're having problems following me.:D

I must say though that the distance to combustable material on the pumped system part of the site is spot on.tup:

[wykie]

Matthew old boy.....I notice from the Thermocrete website that according to the sealent test for permanent liner change @1000c the mean result is -1.8%
What linier scale is used in this test?....is it the Hopkins scale or the Modolic scale.
The reason for asking this is if it has been worked out according to the former the said result is true,but if it has been worked out by the latter then the result is flawed. By my calculation if your company has used this method then the liner change (per 100% icidity) would be 1.75% and not 1.8%.

But of course if these figures were worked out before the 1987 change in building regulations they only have to be within 0.85% changeabilty x linierability. Perhaps I'm being a little too technical here and you're having problems following me.:D

I must say though that the distance to combustable material on the pumped system part of the site is spot on.tup:

Then they send the kid up the chimney to do the cleaning??????

[king billy]

Matthew old boy.....I notice from the Thermocrete website that according to the sealent test for permanent liner change @1000c the mean result is -1.8%
What linier scale is used in this test?....is it the Hopkins scale or the Modolic scale.
The reason for asking this is if it has been worked out according to the former the said result is true,but if it has been worked out by the latter then the result is flawed. By my calculation if your company has used this method then the liner change (per 100% icidity) would be 1.75% and not 1.8%.

But of course if these figures were worked out before the 1987 change in building regulations they only have to be within 0.85% changeabilty x linierability. Perhaps I'm being a little too technical here and you're having problems following me.:D

I must say though that the distance to combustable material on the pumped system part of the site is spot on.tup:

PMSL.....nice one Baldy.....:D

Being "technical director" i'd love to take credit - but having much better things to do we pay an independant testing company to test and prove our materials and their capabilities......for your information they are the UKAS approved Ceram research organistion old boy....tup:

[Garlic Breath]

Well thats alright then but I'd still check out which scale they are using on these tests....it can make a difference to the long term permuability of the lining surface.;)

[Parrot]

Matthew old boy.....I notice from the Thermocrete website that according to the sealent test for permanent liner change @1000c the mean result is -1.8%
What linier scale is used in this test?....is it the Hopkins scale or the Modolic scale.
The reason for asking this is if it has been worked out according to the former the said result is true,but if it has been worked out by the latter then the result is flawed. By my calculation if your company has used this method then the liner change (per 100% icidity) would be 1.75% and not 1.8%.

But of course if these figures were worked out before the 1987 change in building regulations they only have to be within 0.85% changeabilty x linierability. Perhaps I'm being a little too technical here and you're having problems following me.:D

I must say though that the distance to combustable material on the pumped system part of the site is spot on.tup:

I hope Mr P you butter your sarnies left to right & not right to left as directed by the 1987 Health & Safety act?;)

Oh & stop putting bogies in any customers butty who has a dark skin complexion, thats (sadly) outlawed too!tdwn:

[Garlic Breath]

I dont have the shop anymore Parrot....do try and keep uptup:

[tony d]

I dont have the shop anymore Parrot....do try and keep uptup:


Yep how are things with the junior Gollum mate....Hope he looks like your lass btw......tup:

[Garlic Breath]

At 11 weeks in the can so far he wont be as big as my bellend but he's still there and growing all the time.
Whats a Gollom?????:confused: ...I guess whatever it is it aint gonna be complementary:cool:

[tony d]

At 11 weeks in the can so far he wont be as big as my bellend but he's still there and growing all the time.
Whats a Gollom?????:confused: ...I guess whatever it is it aint gonna be complementary:cool:

Like i said let's hope he is like your lass lol...Glad to hear all is well...

http://padawanjenn.tripod.com/LotR/rotk/gollum2_lrg.jpg

[wykie]

http://www.ewallpaper.ru/Img/gollum.jpg

[Garlic Breath]

Its got more hair than me the bastard!!:eek: ...but I can see where you're coming from.

[Superfatbantam]

Having read this thread again, just to prove a point to our young rookie keeper (Yeadon/Bull), I notice there are a few that showed interest but have not followed up on it. Parrot and jimmy spring to mind - when are you guys going to grace the astro-turf with your silky skills?

[Parrot]

Having read this thread again, just to prove a point to our young rookie keeper (Yeadon/Bull), I notice there are a few that showed interest but have not followed up on it. Parrot and jimmy spring to mind - when are you guys going to grace the astro-turf with your silky skills?

I was & still am up for it, but im struggling with a dodgy ankle after falling 30ft off a ladder in the summer:eek: ....when it feels right i'll be ready to fight for a place in the teamtup:

[mrsjdtobe]

jump:

[Garlic Breath]

The scene from Boys From the Blackstuff where that plasterer dies whilst trying to escape from the DHSS comes to mind here.
Or was it the Taxman?;)

[Parrot]

The scene from Boys From the Blackstuff where that plasterer dies whilst trying to escape from the DHSS comes to mind here.
Or was it the Taxman?;)

Nothing as sinister as that Mr P......maybe i was making my escape after badgering someone's missus & her old man came home early from work???:rolleyes: :D

[Superfatbantam]

Parrot, where there's blame there's a claim! Have you spoke with injurylawyerscowboyscrewthehelloutofanybodyovernot hing.com?

[Clique]

I saw the game on thursday. 3 goals scored by claret and banter players, and an own goal! The Clique shall hear of this!

[Superfatbantam]

Were you concealing your identity with a fake tash and funny glasses?

[Jantje simoen]

Were you concealing your identity with a fake tash and funny glasses?

Totally not guilty your honour, plus the tash is the real dealtup:

[Superfatbantam]

Yeah, right. Mereckons it is a stick-on and you'll reveal your real identity at the Christmas do. Is he Bob Hoskins in disguise? Perhaps even you are a City scout looking for a decent sweeper for Todd's new masterplan! I would fit right in with the current crop at Valley Parade - I've even heard JR likes a game of 5 aside, maybe we could convince him to make a special appearance for the C&B massive!

[Jantje simoen]

Somebody mentioned in passing that a Baresi type dude was performing at Goals on a Thursday night, thats all i'm prepared to divulge

[Superfatbantam]

http://www.planetworldcup.com/LEGENDS/baresi.jpg

Yep he has the look of me. I bet my shot was harder than his though. Pfft, Italy, world cup winners, I'll take C&B supporters' man of the match award any day.

BTW you avoided the issue about scouting for City. Are you on the payroll? Rumour has it Neil Redfearn was scouting me, er us, out on Thursday in desperate need of a decent defender! tup:

[Jantje simoen]

Yeh!! Avenue really need a defender of your calibre man, Neil is a double agent whlst in reality i am on the payroll of Peruvian superliga team Deportivo Wanka

[Superfatbantam]

I'll play for them, reckon with JPH's training I could qualify. Sign me up! tup:

[tony d]

What??? They have a team....tup:

Every league needs it's kicking boys fellas.....Glad you have the spirit to turn up each week to get humilated like you do....

Well done lads...Keep up the bad work....


Sack the manager ffs....You spout it here every week but yet you get stuffed and no blame no changes etc....

Well done for not doing what you preach....

It's the taking part that matters after all ladies...jump:

[Spoonhead]

Fuck off Tony!

[tony d]

Fuck off Tony!

No need for that Jonny mate....'

Not my fault you keep losing mate....Surely you can take the heat from a fan pal!!!!

Tut tut i hope you get a fine for such an outburst lol...

Chin up mate...Match coming up for you to lose in...Try changing it around a bit...

Phone this number 01274 630774 ask for Collin he may help you in your hour of need ...Pmsfl...clap: hook: notworthy:

Try prcticing this ...... Thats a goal mate lol...goal:

[TheDuck]

Tony,

Why not come and give the players some tips when your next avaiable? I'm sure they are willing to listen ...

[tony d]

Tony,

Why not come and give the players some tips when your next avaiable? I'm sure they are willing to listen ...

Ahhh Ed you are assuming i am like others on here who just bump my gums whilst hiding behind their computer...

But unfortunately for you i am not...

I am more than happy to pass on the knowledge i have.... If i was living in Bradford i would defo be in the side of that there is no doubt mate...

I can and have no dramas when it comes to football talking the talk and walking the walk...

Shame more of those playing can not lol....

I will tell you everytime i am coming up ladies....Line up to watch and take the piss but actions speak louder than words and playing in a 5-a-side team in the "Bradford overweight and elder statesmans" League holds no fear for me....

So is the manager aiming at keeping it under 12 against this next match...Switch to boring pointless defensive footy and you may get some points....

Phone Colin he will help you trust me...;)

[Spoonhead]

No need for that Jonny mate....'

Not my fault you keep losing mate....Surely you can take the heat from a fan pal!!!!

Tut tut i hope you get a fine for such an outburst lol...

Chin up mate...Match coming up for you to lose in...Try changing it around a bit...

Phone this number 01274 630774 ask for Collin he may help you in your hour of need ...Pmsfl...clap: hook: notworthy:

Try prcticing this ...... Thats a goal mate lol...goal:

Ahhh Ed you are assuming i am like others on here who just bump my gums whilst hiding behind their computer...

But unfortunately for you i am not...

I am more than happy to pass on the knowledge i have.... If i was living in Bradford i would defo be in the side of that there is no doubt mate...

I can and have no dramas when it comes to football talking the talk and walking the walk...

Shame more of those playing can not lol....

I will tell you everytime i am coming up ladies....Line up to watch and take the piss but actions speak louder than words and playing in a 5-a-side team in the "Bradford overweight and elder statesmans" League holds no fear for me....

So is the manager aiming at keeping it under 12 against this next match...Switch to boring pointless defensive footy and you may get some points....

Phone Colin he will help you trust me...;)

Are you still here? I thought I told you to fuck off earlier. tup::D

[tony d]

Are you still here? I thought I told you to fuck off earlier. tup::D

Yeah but you missed your target as per normal..knit: mock: roflmao:

[Spoonhead]

How long are you going to have 2 spelling mistakes in your signature?:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:love:tup:

Back of the net!

[tony d]

How long are you going to have 2 spelling mistakes in your signature?:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:love:tup:

Back of the net!

For as long as you keep getting leathered by nearly every team you play....

Btw Back of the net????

C&B definition.... A place Matty spends most of the game....jump:

Btw it's one spelling mistake twice....

[Spoonhead]

Btw it's one spelling mistake twice....

So that makes 2 then? :confused:

You've changed it now so all is right in the world.:rolleyes:

[tony d]

So that makes 2 then? :confused:

You've changed it now so all is right in the world.:rolleyes:

Nope you still have the footballing prowess of a stunned sloth...jump:

Management skills of Jim Jerffries

and

Tactical astuteness of Andy Robinson.jump:

[Rambo]

Tony mate.


Get a grip. Its easy spouting off your mouth when your down south and there is no possibility of you ever gracing the Thursday night league we play in.

Remember mate, some of actually seen your physique and mate, I would prefer to put the Prawn King in our side than you.

You seem to forget, its five-a-side so no heading is allowed, therefore you're forehead would be a useless tool.

[tony d]

Tony mate.


Get a grip. Its easy spouting off your mouth when your down south and there is no possibility of you ever gracing the Thursday night league we play in.

Remember mate, some of actually seen your physique and mate, I would prefer to put the Prawn King in our side than you.

You seem to forget, its five-a-side so no heading is allowed, therefore you're forehead would be a useless tool.


Calm down oh Massive one PMSFL...Remember i met you lot too ffs..

I do not remember anyone looking healthier than me on that table...Some carrying a bit of extra like but thats it..# I especially do not remember you being anything other than ordinary in size ...

Infact ii have no idea what you mean re size pal as i remember being taller and wider than you unless i missed something...???

Matty was the only one wider ....no offence but he was two foot shorter too..

As for being down here and not playing you are quite correct... But You do not play for City but you comment on their performances both at games you watch or don't watch...Or do i have that wrong too...

Now which part of Claret and Banter did i not get...Added to the fact you are not amiss to this kind of thing yourself makes your point pretty naff Rambo...

Thankfully you are not a MOD mate....No one would write anything unless of course it was you and your mates on the wind up eh!!!

Get over yourself.... Can i not take the micky out of the Knitting Circle either now...Just asking like...

[Rambo]

Calm down oh Massive one PMSFL...Remember i met you lot too ffs..

I do not remember anyone looking healthier than me on that table...Some carrying a bit of extra like but thats it..# I especially do not remember you being anything other than ordinary in size ...

Infact ii have no idea what you mean re size pal as i remember being taller and wider than you unless i missed something...???

Matty was the only one wider ....no offence but he was two foot shorter.


PMSFL!!!

Taller? Why do you think that is Tone?

Here is a clue.......

http://www.recordresearch.com/Album_Photos/images/ZZUSoundtrack_Coneheads.jpg


Like I said Tone, height isnt a factor when you have a head-height rule.

Let's just wait for when you are up this end and we shall let you "sure us how its done"

No doubt your specialist training will come in useful

*Tonyd goes into his office to revise his TA training hoping it will come in handy for his C&B FC debut.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/images/200/gareth_door.jpg

[tony d]

PMSFL!!!

Taller? Why do you think that is Tone?

Here is a clue.......

http://www.recordresearch.com/Album_Photos/images/ZZUSoundtrack_Coneheads.jpg


Like I said Tone, height isnt a factor when you have a head-height rule.

Let's just wait for when you are up this end and we shall let you "sure us how its done"

No doubt your specialist training will come in useful

*Tonyd goes into his office to revise his TA training hoping it will come in handy for his C&B FC debut.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/images/200/gareth_door.jpg

Oh how we laughed...:D

Thing is mate the good thing is you still have a sense of humour over the fact a team of blind amputees would stuff you all over the pitch...

The conehead thing is fine fella...Fact is you cannot play footy... All the foreheeeeeeed jokes in the world will not change that...

If you like i will bring my 12 year old son up at the same time as he is very handy in the nets...

What makes it even funnier is a team like yours seems to be the most vocal in the woes of Bradford City... But then again you too are used to losing and playing like a bunch of road killsjawdrop:

I really do think instead of trying so badly to attack me mate you should get the Rick Waller football coaching video out ...No point aiming too high eh!!!jawdrop:

#tony waits for more cool pics from a man with no bantertdwn: #

[Rambo]

We invite you to come and watch, and if you wanna get your wednesday legs out and have a half I will gladly let you replace me for 20 minutes.

I hope I would be pleasantly surprised and you knock a few in.

My suspicions are different......

*Tonyd gets his legs out and the opposition laugh, leaving tony to side foot into an open goal

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:6J0MI3e7rKo8rM:http://www.turas-troimh-alba.com/photos/images/S89_2_17.jpg

[tony d]

We invite you to come and watch, and if you wanna get your wednesday legs out and have a half I will gladly let you replace me for 20 minutes.

I hope I would be pleasantly surprised and you knock a few in.

My suspicions are different......

*Tonyd gets his legs out and the opposition laugh, leaving tony to side foot into an open goal

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:6J0MI3e7rKo8rM:http://www.turas-troimh-alba.com/photos/images/S89_2_17.jpg

You are probably right it is a long time since i played at a decent level..Not that your team is anywhere near a decent level...:D . But i'm still more than confident i could replace you for at least 20 mins lol...

Even now we play 5 players obviously 2 subs for around 2 hours... But im sure i could manage a mere 20 mins...Maybe thats it Bambi, maybe you are just not fit enough...


It's not worth turning up at work for less than an hour of heart and lungs mate...

When i come up i will bring up some photos that may make you change your mind...l Not that i need to like but just for you...

Enjoy scuffing em off your shinnys this week if you are playing...

A team of Caspers ...pmsfl...Were you all the last picks at school...Matty must fooking hate turning up to play behind you other guys...

You lot are that pants and dum;) you still cannot understand why every team seems to be filled with guys passing to blokes called "megs"....

[Rambo]

Were you all the last picks at school

Like I said.

Come and see for yourself, and dont pass judgement until you have

Were you all the last picks at school

On the contrary my pointy headed friend. I have played at University level, among other recognised leagues.

Thing is though mate, this team is about message boarders getting together and playing football.

It's about speaking to people face to face and not hiding behind a screen.

It's about people skills and interaction.

Unlike you, people on here actually do have nice traits and can be friendly.

Unlike you, not all are lurking to create arguments for argument's sake.

Must be a lonely life for you tony mate. You cant even make friends on the internet. Even the likes of Huntley managed that!

Release the hate mate!! It wasnt us that stole your dinner money at school. Let it go!!

* Tony sings: "It'll be lonely this Christmas................."

[tony d]

Like I said.

Come and see for yourself, and dont pass judgement until you have
Of course i will lol..


On the contrary my pointy headed friend. I have played at University level, among other recognised leagues.
Is that it, then well done mate...Better than i thought but nowt to brag about eh!!!

Thing is though mate, this team is about message boarders getting together and playing football.
Not judging by the results

It's about speaking to people face to face and not hiding behind a screen.
I do not hide at all mate...There was a gang of you last time i was up and it was quieter than a morgue ffs...No big timing then even in the pack...PMSFL..

It's about people skills and interaction.
Try harder cos its the lack of skill and interaction that shows you leathered each week as far as i see..

Unlike you, people on here actually do have nice traits and can be friendly.

Unlike you, not all are lurking to create arguments for argument's sake. Of course to your fface mate...Slate you when your not there..

Must be a lonely life for you tony mate. You cant even make friends on the internet. Even the likes of Huntley managed that!
I do not come on here for mates i come on for a laugh and to chat about City but thanks for the concern...

Release the hate mate!! It wasnt us that stole your dinner money at school. Let it go!!


No hate and no one ever took cash off me mate...Although being Claret and banters clown clothes wearer i reckon you may have had a bit of trouble dude???

Bye....

[BantamMenace]

How much of a wanker do you actually want to be Tony? Rambos a pretty good player when he's not kicking the opposition tup:

And who are you to laugh at other ppls achievements like ur some kind of premiership player or summot, but even then to put somebody down for not achiveing as much as you makes you a fuckin prick.

[king billy]

Had a respone ready to post but on reading Rambo and Bantam Menace's last postings there aint much point really....

Is Tony really comparing us as "underachievers" to City tho - did i get that bit right? Reading between the lines Tony's saying that were not allowed to have a go at City's players because were crap - is that right?.....The fact that we pay to watch City's players, who earn a good wage - who are professional is the same as us lot who actually pay to play, are not professional and don't have people pay to watch us.....

Fookin bizarre Tony - reading your ramblings on this thread truly has made me wonder whether all your marbles are intact.....i'd be getting checked out for that gulf war syndrome thingy if i were you mate.....

[tony d]

How much of a wanker do you actually want to be Tony? Rambos a pretty good player when he's not kicking the opposition tup:

And who are you to laugh at other ppls achievements like ur some kind of premiership player or summot, but even then to put somebody down for not achiveing as much as you makes you a fuckin prick.

Quality fellas true quality...

Please ensure you place at the top of all your posts "Posts for the boys ONLY"

PMSFL....

After reading thread after thread of "tony, if you cannot take the flack don't give it out" this one truly makes me laugh...

You boys really are up yoursens....

Nice post there too BM... Interesting dude.....

KB.... Wtf are you on...???How long have we posted on the same boards...BTW your ramblings are more wierd!!! I said you come on here spouting the same stuff each week about how bad City are etc etc yet when you take a bit you cry like girls.....I really must start writing in larger letters..

Remember "Posts for the boys ONLY" Obviously you lot are the only ones allowed to take the mick on here... hahaahahahahaha

*tony d just assumes "Boys don't cry by the Cure" is playing around the boys only club tonight"

[tony d]

Rambo through on goal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4XQaV18z9k

Here we see the silky defence in action
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqStMdX3E5Y

[Spoonhead]

Why do you feel the need to stick your nose in Tony? A group of lads want to get together and have a laugh in the real world instead of online and you take the piss? I play with some shithot players on a Monday and if I wanted too I could have started a team in a league and won loads of games. That wasn't the point of this team though was it? Of course we want to win but the point of the team is that it's C&B FC. When I found out Si had been posting on here as 1911 for a while I was chuffed because even though he's a good player, I didn't want ringers in the team, I wanted it to be board members. Good job he is!
As for you slating us and saying we're shit...you know nowt, because you've never seen us play! I think we've had a decent 1st season as it goes. Also, I'll confidently predict right now that we'll win our next match and that we'll finish top half next season.
Now Fuck Off!!tup::D

[tony d]

Why do you feel the need to stick your nose in Tony?


Because, and forgive me if i'm wrong on this, but isn't it on a thread or should i say fooking loads of threads????

So this is the crucial part so stay with me here...

I decided to have a laugh and poke fun at your loses..You know the ones you posted on here...The ones others have a laugh at too..

Now by the very nature of this board and how it runs i have the right i think to reply to posts...

But if i have crossed the line and infact, IF i am the only one to reply to any post ever on here... I apologise..I do really fellas...

I mean if i am the only one who has replied to any thread and had a crack on it...No matter what the topic ever ever than i'm sorry...

Now without trawling through all of the posts EVER on here i will just have to guess that maybe one or two may of done the same...

Not you or KB or even Rambo but some im sure...

Now if they have tup: and they have taken the mick out of the people who have been let's say less fortunate in things they have done or posts they have created then i would have to say...

























































GET OVER YOURSELVES YOU GRADE 1 PRIMA DONNAS.....PMSFL ....:D

[TheDuck]

Tony,

do you have any friends that exist away from the PC out of intrest?

[tony d]

Tony,

do you have any friends that exist away from the PC out of intrest?

Nope... Not at all...I only have you guys and thankfully you are all such wonderfully accepting folk..

The kind of pals i have always dreamed of....

I only wish i had met you earlier in my life then i could of grown up to be such a nider kinda guy like your goodselves...

Imagine a set of real friends who know everything and do not allow anyone elses to interfere or poke fun at them whilst at the same time poking fun at everyone and everything...

If only i could of been a part of that...

You lot take yourselves far too seriously Ed....Maybe if you were a little more attentive on the pitch the results might turn around eh....

BTW do wife and kids count cos if they do i have at least three mates...

PMSFL.....

[1911]

There has only actually been 3 games whereby we've been convincingly beaten and two of those games were against the team at the top of the league who have won every game.

It may well be wise to actually do some research on how we've done this season.

[Serium]

As i am the worst player ever to play for C&B:

IN MY EYSE THEY ARE A GOOD TEAM, EVERYTIME I SEE THEM THEY ARE CAPABLE OF WINNING!

Never lost when i've been there :)

[Joe_Brett]

As i am the worst player ever to play for C&B:

IN MY EYSE THEY ARE A GOOD TEAM, EVERYTIME I SEE THEM THEY ARE CAPABLE OF WINNING!

Never lost when i've been there :)

You have only been about 3 times!

[European Bob]

Is this a C&B FC thread or another Tony d taking on the world/the world having a go at Tony d thread?

What you should realise Tony is that the people who you've offended (that's right offended) take the whole C&B FC thing as serious fun because it hurts to loose even though we're used to it. Remember it's only banter if both sides agree its banter! I’m not for one minuet trying to say that the posters with whom you've been arguing are innocent, as I’ve witnessed many occasions where they too have been guilty of taking things too far or not thinking before making a comment but it is all to apparent that this is a recurring theme with your posts. You delve further and further in a vain attempt to defend yourself from the backlash. I wouldn't deny you your right to defend yourself but as the supposed bigger (no pun intended) man that you often claim to be, do you not think it a good idea to take a step back realise that your comments although unintentionally offensive may have done just that, offended.

Football in any shape or form is an emotive subject and one with such a wide spectrum of opinion, why do you think so much time is devoted to these very forums. Again, I don’t deny you your opinion but to offer such without any experience of C&B FC and to do so in a derogatory manner just leads me to think that such comments were purposeful in their criticism and were designed to provoke (I wonder how I cam to the conclusion).

If I may be so bold, I believe that you gain pleasure or at the very least abate your boredom by adding your now comprehensive large wooden spoon to the mix? This comment is not meant to provoke, or gain a response nor is it my intention to start a dialogue even but just think Tony why is it always you who is the one having the argument and not the debate.

[Superfatbantam]

Perhaps one should reflect on the achievements of ClaretandBanter FC? Are there any other messageboards that have entered a team in this 5 a-side league? Not that I am aware of? Has it not created an area for discussion on this board and a mechanism for posters to meet up and enjoy football in a different arena to Valley Parade? Has the team played well in all but 3 games this season, despite being made up of people who hardly knew each other apart from behind a pc screen? Is it better than slagging everyone off from behind a pc screen? Despite losing more than winning have the 8,9, 10 or so people who have been involved, including the supporters, enjoyed the experience?

I'm sure on your next trip up we will all be humiliated by your honed footballing skills, tony, as being the big man that you are you are sure to want to show us how to play eh?

[tony d]

I'm sure on your next trip up we will all be humiliated by your honed footballing skills, tony, as being the big man that you are you are sure to want to show us how to play eh?

Where's all this Big man shit come from...It was Rambo who thought he was close to his name sake in size eh big chap...

But whatever niff naff trivia.......

I have no problem coming up and playing...The chances of that happening soon are slim to none...

I'm sure you see that as a cop out but the reverse invitaion is there for you and your team to come down here and play me and some of the lads.....Thought i would throw that in before Brownies amongst you start bleating..

But trust me ladies when i am up during leaves etc i will pop in...Would be worth it just to play... I have nothing to hide from....

It tickles me the way you boys are ranting....Nearly everyone of you would be on this thread griefing if you didn't play ..That's the funniest part of this whole thing....

Good luck tomorrow BTW...:D

"What a fooking liberty"tup:

[tony d]

BTW i do not hide behind my computer screen..Nearly everyone knows what i look like and what i do for a living etc etc...

Whereas the some of the gobbiest ones on here are faceless....#

Just for the record that is SFB.......

[Superfatbantam]

I don't hide either, t. Glad you got out of your seat and introduced yourself at the lat game you came to. I'm sure we can arrange a C&B tour down sarf to play you and your soldier boys.

[Tarty]

Tony and his boys pose for a team photo waiting for the C&B team to arrive

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/640/itainthalfhotmum_2.jpg

[tony d]

Tony and his boys pose for a team photo waiting for the C&B team to arrive

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/640/itainthalfhotmum_2.jpg

Cannot be our lads must be the Bradford, Blackburn, London or Leicester TA mate...tup:

[tony d]

I think i have found the flaw in your play though..Maybe you can work it out...

Kits not bad though...jawdrop:

http://www.contrasto.it/img/001hdXk086d_img.jpg






























*tony awaits the oh how dare you they are blind*

[Superfatbantam]

Tony, that's my latest celebration after I scored when we were 14-3 down last week! Where did you get the pic? :D

[tony d]

Tony, that's my latest celebration after I scored when we were 14-3 down last week! Where did you get the pic? :D

I was there scouting prior to my report above lol...

Thing is you forgot to mention you were playing the St Patricks U-5's at the tiime lol...

Good luck tonight SfB...Don't let the fact the pools panel awarded their opposing team the 10-0 victory even though it was them that didn't turn up...

That's how bad they are ffs...Happy thoughts tonight mate..

[oliverson]

I'm sure Tony D can provide a decent back 5!

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/B000006Y6Q.02._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V1133269178_.jpg